Immunity For Keepsake

The feeling in the pit of my stomach tells me that this will most definitely be my last post here for reasons that are quite obvious (actually,just college,it screws us all). The whole crew left and TTDI is just exuding this sad and empty vibe. Honest to goodness truth,I didn't expect myself to feel this way,I am borderline devastated. I've known these people for years,I grew up with my mofos. We've grown up ! Exciting for a few seconds and then,reality rained on our parade. As moronically cliche' this sounds,I realized something so pure and sincere about our friendship. Through all the rough patches we've treaded on,the lifelines we hung from in times where I think,this is it,we're no longer friends -- lo and behold,that didn't strain the bond we've formed. The number of times we've fought,the unbelievably rude things we've said to each other when provoked,the cold shoulders and silent treatments. In spite of myself,I shut that voice in my head,that ego,would I really break ties with them after being friends for so long? Absolutely not. How lucky am I to have them in my life ? I've never felt so blessed until the moment I looked around the table last night,the last hurrah,and I'm holding on to that image because as much as I hate to admit it,that was the last time things will ever feel familiar for each of us. Imma miss the boys the most because for the past four months,they've been my trusty companion,my hombres,dragged me along everywhere eventhough I was the only female present in the car,officially one of the boys LOL sighing wistfully at the mo'. See,here's the problem ni ! Get too attached and experience PTDS (post traumatic devastation syndrome) before college !!!! K,drama minggu ini sikit but you get my drift. Rindu gila gila gila kat Izzud dengan Buj dengan Farid especially,menusuk kalbu please. Dah lah 3years?! Balik masa raya je?! WTF BRB sobbing mentally GMH ! On a brighter note,Dayana and I are going to be college buddies in MSU this Monday,whoopwhoop ! While waiting for my UiTM intake. I accepted the MSU offer 'cause my brain cells are dead and they need to be reincarnated before I shrivel up and die sans any knowledge whatsoever. I'm stoked,really am. 1/2 year of bumming has come to an official end,alhamdulillah (shedding tears of joy). It was fucken' ace while it lasted. C'est la vie !

'Scuse Me,Infatuation Weaving Through

Tehehe. The apparent "long time" in my previous post stops here. I mean,I just said that to seem all sentimental-i'm-leaving-this-era kind of way. Besides,I'm hoping this would eventually succeed in making me slightly drowsy and sleep because tomorrow is going to be the first rough Monday in the history of rough Mondays sans school. Will be as quick as an orgasm,I swear ! My mija braided my hair for World Stage like the blonde's up there. I miss her but I shall survive. On a lighter note,I wish she was here so I could tell her that I'm smitten. Smitten as a Persian kitten. My John Doe's quirky and kooky and undeniably the source of most of my smothered laughter. Literally lingering around for a couple of years,gone unnoticed and now,his presence is exceptionally tough to ignore. Subtly earning a coveted post with me.You see,I've kept my John Doe infatuation down low. That's saying alot,if you ask me. The population of this little fact+his identity can barely fill a toilet stall in a mall. I'm not in the least bit sure when to drop the nuclear bomb and disrupt the wavelengths of his chaotic,if not rarely sane,mind. It's agonizing,this uncertainty. John Doe's verdict is probably just as uncertain as the rise of the Antichrist. I'm afraid to pry into that Pandora's box of his in case it'll ensue dismay and a bunch of other nasty thoughts to get by with. Then again,Pandora's big on hope too. Ho hum deedly dum.

Anew

Hibernating atm or when I'm feeling a teensy bit poetic,I happen to find myself standing and thinking on the beach with the vast sea of my future laid before me. Today marks two years of my Bloggership. Cringe inducing thoughts of the unmentionable path I'd have to jolly well trod on is not healthy for my soul...that and my sloth-esque sleeping pattern. Don't get me wrong though,I'm so stoked for university,I could be shittin' ray of sunshines and sprout sparkly wings and start to dazzle. A different group of hombres,an array of (hopefully) steaming+intellectual guys,the feel of a new pen against my fingers, straightening out the scrunched up edges of a testpad and the beginning of my life as a law student. In the meantime,I'm living life at an ungodly slow pace and depicting every minute (literally) through my Twitter. That app. is my life. If I was brutally murdered,I'm giving Horatio permission to check my Twitter out. I'm retaining my authenticity by not having a Tumblr account. Apparently,most people don't rant on Tumblr. I am a person who rants in girly hues after watching a masochistic movie. I am cool like that. Before I leave this space for possibly a very long time,lemme just say that in this solitary confinement silence I've been in since my friends lead lives of their own,I've learnt that I find absolute peace in being alone. Semi-independent in my own pretty odd way. Have a good year,thou stranger who reads this. (After reading my old posts,I've had a blessed two years and fingers crossed,more to come.) xx.

Fragile,Don't Crush.

It has been said that something as fragile as the flutter of a butterfly's wing can ultimately cause a typhoon half way around the world. In this case,the words that came tumbling out of my mouth must have stabbed you hard, must have seemed unsympathetic. Enough to make me know I've unleashed this absurd feeling in the corner of your heart. I'm well aware that I've scarred people along the road and I'm definitely not the kind of person who settles for someone who is comfortable with being pushed around. I don't know how to explain myself,I don't how to explain this lump that forms in my throat everytime I think about it. I'm sorry I hurt you and I mean this in the most honest and sincere way ever but have you any idea how I felt after you didn't acknowledge my apology,at all? Not in the slightest bit. I don't expect you to accept my apology,considering what I did,but just the thought of it wouldn't kill you. Something as simple as a Hi or a nod of the head. Something to tell me that you'll wave the white flag,that we'll surrender and leave this behind. I'm not going to ask you to let bygones be bygones because in truth,nobody really does. It's all second nature,to forgive yet we'll forever find it impossible to forget. I'm guilt-ridden,A. At the same time,I don't want to do this. The last thing I'd want is to burden you with this because I feel as if I'm being selfish but thinking about this is getting me flustered and frazzled. You're so mad at me,just the thought of it makes me cringe and feel ten feet smaller. Helpless and at a loss for words. Your absence is eating me alive. I can't believe I was capable of hurting someone like this,so much so,we're barely considered friends anymore. I'll give you time. All the time in the world and when you check your watch and decide it's time,do me a favour. Close your eyes,clear your heart,let it go.

Outburst of Thoughts

Sometimes,I am torn. Should I speak my mind or keep it to myself ? See,being outwardly euphoric and depressed at intervals can drive a person up the wall and have question marks floating aimlessly in their thoughts,Is She? Is She Not? I would be shamelessly lying to myself if I said I'm content with the silence. Silence can shake one's consciousness right down to their very core. That leads to my shaky decision to say whats on my mind. I'm just this walking jug of random thoughts that you can pick out. Would I ever let myself drown in my own thoughts? Rather be dubbed melodramatic than a mute.

Subtle Is Not Your Middle Name

So many little girls,so terribly polluted. I mean,I can accept it if you do all that that when you're seventeen. But when you've barely reached puberty? Honey,this ain't a past I'd like to tell my children later.

A Home Away From Home

I don't care where I am or how I end up living like,I know that I want to have a library close with me. If by any chance,that wouldn't be possible,just to have a book safely tucked away in my bag is enough to make me feel at ease. You see,like everybody else,books offer me this safety blanket,the reassurance that no matter how cross-wired my life is at that exact moment,I can at least escape the reality. The heaviness and dread of a situation will always be easily lifted once I read. You could say I owe this to my parents,they started with the typical books with pictures. My particular favourite when I was a toddler was those big Disney books where you had to spot the items they asked you to ! Pre-teen days were spent reading every book from the Olsen and Enid Blyton franchise. I mean,c'mon. Who never read Enid Blyton?! As I grew older,I skipped the stage of Gossip Girls and all that,which comes to a surprise,even to my closest friends. I mostly stuck to Kinsella and Ahern and moved on towards the heavier plots until now. I leaned more to English books rather than Malay novels mainly because,well,I just don't fancy the plotlines. I only started reading Meniti Kaca and the rest because it was part of the education syndicate. I'm struck with awe,with the wistful thinking and with the way I absorb myself into the characters. I love words. Words excite me in ways I can't begin to explain. Never would I dub myself a flawless writer because I am not.Being an avid reader and having this much of a passion,as absurd as that sounds,it feels like having a boyfriend. I get caught up with what it tells me,it makes me smile to myself,and whenever I'm not with it,all I can think about is how badly I want to go home,jump on my bed,and let it keep me up all night,you know? A book doesn't even have to be open to feel that. The spines don't even have to be cracked. I'm the type of person who is most content with her fingers wrapped around a book and being tucked under covers. Why keep books if you don't pay attention to some of them? The answer is as obvious as asking a widow with 27 cats. To keep me company.

Something Much Less Epic Than An Epiphany

In the simplest of terms,I just miss being missed by the person who made me feel euphoric after being acknowledged. I wish you were here but you're there and there doesn't know how lucky it is. I don't think about you but you're always there,in the back of my mind. The afterthought. I never had the intention ; To suffocate myself with this kind of realisation. I don't want to be known as the girl who just cannot get over the last guy who meant a thing to her because I am not. I refuse to feel sorry for myself because I am only sorry he never took the time to stand back and appreciate this affection. The heart wants what the heart wants and when your heart speaks,remember to take good notes. To be honest,I loved that douche less and less until the feeling now is just platonic. The sparks were long gone,the butterflies don't flutter at the mention of his name or at the sight of his face. That's reserved for somebody else now. But,still. I wonder,I'm dying to ask. Did I ever leave an impact on your life? Even if just the tiniest?

Two Spoons of Wishful Thinking

Did you know there's a subtle difference between wistful thinking and wishful thinking? (and no,it isn't the T or H in the spelling)

Lips Are Best Kept Sealed,Secrets Are Best Kept Shared (Because We All Know That's What'll Happen Eventually)

You are taught and raised to make sure the skeletons in your closet stay put. It's the unspoken rule. And then comes the time when the bones start rattling against the door and out they come tumbling. Need not worry though,because most of the time,these are the truths that you yourself choose to speak of. The harmless bits and pieces that wouldn't affect anybody around you in ways that would wreak havoc nor would it do any harm to you mentally and emotionally. The solid subject to prove this statement is yours truly. This may come out as a vain sentence but I want people to know me,to grasp the fact that I am not what they think I am,to see why is it so my friends are my friends. Then again,I don't want to pull a Big Brother and reveal all my dirty little secrets (not that I have any) or be completely at ease with sharing absolutely every detail of my life or let you into my innermost thoughts. That is utterly ridiculous. Might as well start penning my biography and have it published,right? Like I said,it's the harmless facts. The ones that I want to amuse people with and to let them know me without having to keep a notepad on my inside and outs. Still,the hidden traits,the funny habits that me myself find it hard to notice is what my closest friends are for. That privilege is and always will be for that bond we've formed and strengthen over the years. C'mon,don't deny me this micromillinanopicogigatera revelation. Every human being is guilty of sharing their thoughts and their secrets with random people. Which we all know,does no justice whatsoever to its concept but still,it's a fact of life. SO ! Before I scurry along the lines of the basic point,maybe I'll waste my time on a hundred (harmless) truths about myself. Before I become famous and have my very own biography on bookstands,nonetheless ehehe. Until then,we'll have to make do with this random post that was to supposedly make me doze off. Failed but at least,that's one random thought of the day down,a gazillion more to go. Two more days in Europe and I shall rid myself of this temporary insanity of having zero To-Dos,xx.

Going,Going,Gone (For The Mo')

Hey Hi Hello ! So,I'm leaving for Rome and whatnot on Monday night. Surreal. I haven't been overseas for so long. I hate being a tourist,it's so obvious pulak tu. Hahaha. Can't believe I'm not going to see Ilya before I leave on Monday. She'll be in Singapore for Paramore (BEECH). Was supposed to go but I thought it was on Monday night,not Sunday !@#$%^&* . Anyways,two weeks without my bestfriends to keep me sane is going to be tough but I'll survive. I am a tough cookie *pose* This shall be a short post. I don't want to fall in love there. I've already got my eyes on somebody here. Take care,whoever reads my blog. If there are any. X.

Tidal Waves

Hi. Do you know how it feels like to wait for something you know will never come but you still hold on to that thin shred of hope eventhough the voice in your head tells you,don't ?

I've perfected that by now,really. It's like playing a game of tug of war with yourself. You wait but when you realize it's completely bogus if it really does come,you stop waiting. It goes on again,day after day ever since then. In case you were wondering,yes it sucks. When realization hits you like a tidal wave and you're caught under water. You struggle to hold on to what's in reach,to the familiar exterior of a tree bark or a post,you hang on to that for your life but the current makes it tougher,the current wants to break your grip. You so desperately cling on to that until you know it's pointless,it's beyond your control. That's when you'll start to let go,bit by bit and pray to God to please,please bring yourself ashore. To that moment where you can finally breathe and say Hey,I'm Going To Be Alright. That Was One Hell Of A Ride But I Got Through It and I'm Going To Walk Away With Only Bruised Memories. I'm the one clinging on to that familiarity and you're the current. Sooner or later,but most definitely,I will learn to let go and wait at the next stop for somebody else to bring me on another ride,one that's worth waiting for. Though,there is a part of me that wants everything to be normal again,for me to know I have a friend,not some boy I used to like and who meant something to me,who I can call up and say OMG Guess What Happened To Me Today?! and to be absolutely sure that everything's better the way it is. Until then.

Good Dose Of Humor,S'All I Need

Hi. I think I like you. I'm not going to be daft and say I've fallen head over heels for you because I have not. Not yet,anyways.

Rarely do I talk to you but when I do,it makes me happy. You sorta make me happy. Talking to you is like talking to myself. Confusing and frustrating and funny.

Give me humor,and you've got me wrapped around your fingers. XX

Hello,Familiarity

When I was still in school,I frequently read blogs of those who finished school and they rarely updated. Curious as ever,I thought to myself "I'm going to blog every single day after I get out of this shithole because,dude,everyday's a holiday ! " This is my first blogpost after two months and I couldn't care less. My life is as mundane and routine as John Tyree's father in Dear John. I'm blaming Twitter,that micro-blogging genius is fcking brilliant! I rarely have shut-eye sessions because I'm up all night reading a book or watching dvds. I wake up around the same time people come home from school and the only time I actually make an effort to wake up in the morning is to have breakfast at McDonalds or a mamak stall. In between that,I feel as if I don't have a reason to even wake up. I'm in the middle of taking my driving license,classes have started and I actually like driving despite the fact that I get distracted easily and I'm afraid I'll hit the nearest lamp post. My uncle's been really keen on having me write on a regular basis for NST so he's trying to help me out with that. I hope it turns out well because I really,really missed writing.

Don't get me wrong though,I worship and treasure these carefree moments of my life. Those of which are beginning to feel less and more tense because results are coming out soon. I wished I didn't slack,but what's done is done. I won't be here to collect 'em,will be missing all the tears and laughter and joyjumps for Europe. Psyched for that trip ! Leaving in two weeks and I have no idea what to pack. I feel like stuffing everything from my closet into my suitcase. ANYWAYS. I'm keeping this one short. I think I'll probably type something out later tonight. Bye.

Jitters

Hey Hi Hello !

First blog post after two months,how wicked is my ability to resist blogging temptations? Wicked enough ! Has everyone missed me? I know there are a few faithful followers of mine,don't I have a fanbase?! Maybe not but it isn't wrong for a girl to dream,si? I may have SPM and the loss of my mojo to blame for my hiatus. It was as if the wheels on my brain were turning,yearning to tell the whole world about my not-so interesting life,ho-hum routines as far as I know but then once I loggin Blogger,this white space just stared at me and vice versa until I just gave up. Quite close to deleting my blog but I don't have the heart to do so,I love reading my previous posts,as melodramatic and cliche' and just plain boring,if you must,as they were. Since I don't keep a diary,why the hell not yeah? I wish I did though but I stopped after the umpteenth time of buying a diary just because it had a pretty cover. Besides,I only wrote on the first page and left it to collect dust in a corner.

I'm hoping December will be good to me. So far,so good. I've been alone on most days,spending an insane amount of time in my pajamas and only moving a muscle if the task is worth getting up for. You could say SPM's aftermath is sorta like solitary confinement for me. Honestly,I'm not complaining (eventhough I do so on Twitter like,everytime?). I do massive thinking when I'm alone and if you were wondering what my thoughts were about,well then,keep on wondering. Can I talk about November? Hold up,it's my blog so I can and I shall ! Pardon me if I sound melodramatic but November was bittersweet,beyond words. A quarter of my life changed in a millisecond in more ways than one. Everything seemed perfect and although that's a pretty tough word to mess around with,I swear it's true. Then again,good things must always come to an end ; I just wished it didn't have to end so abruptly for me. I turned seventeen a month ago and it was by far the best birthday I've had so far. I am in love with celebratory text messages and phone calls ! I finished my SPM,finally ! I'm still working on my license though hahahaha (y)

Brace yourselves for this but the voice in my head constantly reminds me that I loved most unexpectedly at one point of time in the past few months. Excuse me but where's the justice in the law of attraction?! How can you push aside this adrenalin rush courtesy of your feelings for someone? How can you pretend as if nothing ever happened? As if all the cryptic messages,the subtle hints,the inside jokes,meant absolutely nothing? And it only makes it worse when I wonder if I loved in vain. This will bug me to no end,just so you know. To put in the simplest of terms,I miss the butterflies I used to get at the mere mention of your name. Then again,I still do,I just don't talk about it like the way I used to. You still occupy my thoughts. As cliche' and overrated as this may seem like,you couldn't even find a mere trace of frowns during that period of time. Nada,zip,zero. Pretty much content with my life then,not so much now but hey,I'll learn to handle it. Easy come,easy go. I don't have any right to stop you from doing whatever it is you want to,si? Although I'm feeling a gazillion times better than I did before,there'll always be this tiny space reserved just for you. I pinky promised.

Not exactly my idea of a post-hiatus entry but I just had to get this weight off my shoulders. I swear it'll be less,deep,the next time around. It's two in the morning and I think I shall go spend time in my comfort zone ; Under the bedspread,surrounded by pillows and a torchlight. Shall get lost in Cecelia Ahern's imagination and zest for love and life. Ciao,bella.

xx

Adieu

Hold on a sec,let me just get this out of my system.
I can't believe SPM is in three weeks ! 30 days,30 freakin' days.
This is it,four weeks,ten subjects,twenty-three papers,countless amounts of pens and a whole lot of gelabah-ing as a starting line to my future.
Okay,I thought I'd be all calm and collected up until,say,a week before but I'm freakin' out now.
Head's spinning but I can't afford to be caught up in thoughts of failures or doubt. That doesn't help,it'll just bring out the lazy bum in me. I swear .
I'm doing this for my parents who's paying close to a thousand for my tuition fees and the revision books I've been buying just for the sake of feeling like I'm making an effort -_-' ,for Mr. Koo and Mr. Nathan and Mr. Ramesh and Ms. Anusya,Pn. Noraikha,Pn Histaza,Ustazah S.Roha,Cikgu Sritharan,Pn. Shanthy,Pn. Zalifah,Pn. Nurhana,Pn. Hazlin and Pn. Ooi who have been patient throughout these two years. It's like,guilt avenue if I don't get an A or B or,welll,you get my point.
Then again,I know myself more than anyone else does,and that's why I'm not putting high hopes for straight As. At this rate,it's like trying to stop the apocalypse,impossible. Whatever it is,I can't and won't accept anything lower than a B or C. Why? Because Additional Matematics will be on my slip and I know the furthest I would possibly go is a C . Heh . Dapat 6As,7As pun dah bersyukur gila gila gila lah. When people told me that most of us would start studying last minute for SPM,I thought that was bullshit. Macam,bangang ah bila fikir balik kan?
Tapi tengok lah sekarang,study gila babi nak mampus punya tak ingat dunia a month before SPM. Tu pun kena paksa diri gila babi,gila gila punya paksa ! Boleh lagi baru berapa jam baca buku buat past year question,tutup buku then cakap " Takpe lah,start study esok lah,pape ah"
WTF IS WRONG WITH ME?! Bodoh gila,bila results keluar next year teruk baru nak menyesal.
I can't freakin wait for that to start studying my arse off ! Sure there are nights where I sleep late and digest as much information as possible but it gets tiresome because I'm not putting in as much effort as I should be.
I shouldn't even be here now. So as of today,you wont be seeing me for two months until the very last day of SPM,which will be on 9/12/09 . Maybe I'll be on a few days before jugdement day,let out my frustraition and calm my nerves sorta mantra. Kena ada motivasi sikit,kalau tak memang harapan ah kan.Oh and,yeay,mintak restu time. Bestnya.
I know I'm not the nicest person on Earth and I know I've said and done things that have offended many people in many ways but I sincerely apologize for everything I've done.
Keeping my fingers crossed that I'll be in your prayers after this hahaha,so yeah. Pray for me a miracle and all the best to the rest of you who'll be sitting for this wretched exam as well. 29 days to the battle and 51 days to freedom.
Fasten your seatbelts,92s,it's gonna be a rough ride (Y)

You and What Army?

Saturday,17.10.09 - Ana,Bob and Ilya's openhouses

Danial woke me up freakin early because we were supposed to leave around 11 for Sungai Buloh. Slept for another ten minutes,took a shower and got ready. I couldn't decide what to wear and I settled for a black kurung and this green kain saree fabric to go with it. So,as I was rummaging through my bag,I noticed I had a new message from Danial which said Gen was running late so might as well leave at 1140. Penat penat je aku siap awal. So,everyone was supposed to meet up at the Community Hall since Gen,Majid and Firdaus were convoy-ing. Found out that Firdaus (Khidhir,Ann,Bob) left first. Dalam hati dah macam,bestnya naik dengan Gen since tak ramai orang tumpang so takpayah sempit sempit. Sekali Gen sampai,Odeng dah kat front seat and I saw Kamar at the back. Menyemak ah kau hahaha. So,Kamar,Hanie,Danial and I sqeeuzed in the backseat. Gen ada plush toys dalam kereta dia ! We had to wait for Majid and his crew to arrive so Gen parked and went to the toilet while the rest of us stayed in his car. Kesian Odeng,kena Deepavali jokes. Asal tak gerak Batu Caves lah,Penat tak panjat tangga tu lah hahaha banyak lagi aa. There was a wedding going on at the Hall,so there were cars coming in and out. Ada satu family tu park sebelah kereta Gen,then anak dia macam,checked her reflection in the car window and picked her nose !@#$%^&* hahahahahahahaha tak sedar kot ada orang dalam kereta Gen,ni mesti Odeng ni (jangan marah haha) Then finally nampak kereta Majid,Afiqah dapat jugak shotgun,uhmayzing. Rasa macam balik kampung pulak (Y) Stopped by Danial's house sebab mamat tu at first pakai tshirt then tengok orang lain pakai cantik cantik,nak tukar baju,primadonna betul. Sesat sikit masa kat area Sg Buloh tu tapi sampai jugak rumah Ana akhirnya !

Rumah Ana besar gila ! Like,omagad,besar gila ah ! Driveway dia luas gila,boleh muat banyak gila kereta,tak tipu. Majid selambe je park kereta dia kat dalam. Sampai sampai je nampak Faiq/Farihah punya Mummy and dia cakap Ana semua kat backyard. Kamar kept on saying "Ni rumah ke resort ni?!" Nampak pool je,cakap benda sama,every few seconds ah boleh dikatakan dia cakap tu hahaha. Pretty nervous when I saw that the grass was muddy,my 4inch heels dug in really deep hahaha. Jumpa Ana,little hug kiss kiss then makan. Jumpa Khidhir Izzud semuaaaaa. Makan makan then took a tour around Ana's house and lepak dalam bilik dia. Ramai gila sumbat dalam satu bilik. Seriously,I think someone should be recording our every move. Sumpah macam,lawak gila and entertaining as hell and it's all so random and revolves around jokes that are not for the underage hahahahaha padahal kita semua belum legal pun lagi but you get my drift.

Bila hujan dah reda sikit,kita semua gerak rumah Bob sebab rumah dia sama area jugak. This time,naik dengan Firdaus. Ann got shotgun while Bob,Danial,Kide and I were in the back. Kesian Lana dengan Jaa kena sumbat dalam kereta siapa tah. Sebab,there were so many of us and only three cars. Rumah Bob pun coool gilaaa ! Like,so earthy hahaha seriously,dining room dia ada that shutters and it opens to an indoor garden so rasa macam cool ah hahaha. Nervous gila babi kat rumah Bob sebab ada kucing! Hafiz Iddin tak habis habis letak kittens tu dekat dekat,ergh. The boys were preoccupied with the gym and then Firdaus tak habis habis nak buat taichi in the middle of the garden. Nak nangis tengok,all he did was the KRS kawad moves :') Took alot of pictures. Ada satu part tu,semua dah ready nak amik gambar then suddenly Majid (who was bending down) diri and cakap "Jumpa pun !" Kacau gila hahahaha. Balik pun dengan Firdaus but this time Kide,Danial,Ann,Jaa and I pulak. Stuck in a jam and then OMAGAD,Firdaus punya first ________ ! Rasa guilty gila sebab I yang buat dia cuak hahahahaha Sorry bro,sorry sangat sangat,nanti aku belanja kau a night in Chaukit road :( Nasib baik tak serious and _____ tu pun _ (Y)

Dropped Kide and Danial off sebab dorang nak pegi rumah Fikrizal and finally dapat shotgun ! Woohoo,dapat jugak eventho from Kide's house to Ilya's place. Kept on apologizing to Firdaus,once in a lifetime ni *rolls eyes. Sampai rumah Ilya,ada Hilmi and Amie,Xhaff and their friend Naqib. These three literally don't need laughing gas or jokes,gelak je kerja hahaha best ah actually tengok dorang gelak -_-' After they left, the others started arriving like Amir,Eijas,Syak,Flapp,Ilman,Buj,Kide,Ahlami,Firdaus,Irfan tu semua lah. Like I said,macam army. The whole gang concequered the entire living room. Main Wii ! Semangat gila okay,lagi lagi Firdaus bila main boxing. He was literally sweating buckets. Basah gila and melekit,ewww. Played boxing with Firdaus and he won,babi ah,tapi aku bagi kau menang sbb nanti kau macam emo pegi nangis belakang curtain ahahahaha :') Tapi best ah sbb lompat lompat and punched thin air while the others were shouting and jumping up as well. Lagi lagi Afiqah,memang supporter terhebat. Food at Ilya's place was gooood,makan banyak gila sampai sakit perut. Took most photos with Buj,hubby for a day,siap share satu kerusi everywhere we sat hahaha. Omar called somewhere in the night while it was really noisy and Firdaus sikit sikit kipaskan muka and cakap OMG OMG macam bapok. Hahahaha tu memang lawak *tepuk tangan and fist bump*
But since there were so many of us,panas gila okay ! Yang peluh for no reason punya tahap so most of us stood right under the aircond to cool off. Then Majid semua nak karaoke and semua dah macam Cepat Balik Sebelum Hujan Batu hahahahaha (Y) Most of them left around 11 or so and Waa and I decided to sleep over.

Sunday,18.10.09 - Waa's Openhouse (last one for the year)

Woke up the next morning to Waa's face right beside mine hahaha sorry bro,aku memang tidur dekat dekat -_-' and had brunch in One Utama,sent Arissa to Tania's place,went to Pavillion and bought a few things from Cotton On. Ah,the satisfaction. Got ready for Waa's openhouse,the three of us i.e Wa,Ilya and I were in perfect color coordination. Pagi blue/white/brown malam white. And not on purpose,mind you. Mee kari sedap gila,tambah banyak kali. Layan Firdaus sbb,ntah asal,rasa mcam nak buat charity work hahaha. Waa and Ilya were caught redhanded for something I shall not mention but sweet nonetheless :') Got home,changed into an oversized tee,talked to Omar (I guess it's not our secret anymore,is it? haha) and I fell asleep after laughing for a few minutes because I remembered what Firdaus did (OMG OMG)

Just You Wait

I shouldn't be complaining,I should be semi thankful SPM is in a month's time.
There's still time to cover whatever information I can digest. True,I'm definitely dissapointed in myself over the fact that I didn't start earlier but that's not important now.
But as the big day approaches (ceh,macam nak kahwin je), I find myself yearning for the time after those four nerve racking weeks. When I flipped through the timetable,it actually made me want to study even harder. And after the car ride with Ilya,I'm even more determined to get good results to take up law next year. No more second thoughts and I'm ignoring the voices in my head who tell me I should be studying Biomedical Science or whatever.
I'm not going to take something just because it makes me sound professional or that it rakes in more income. I'm not saying law isn't,trust me. My parents are both lawyers and hell,I've heard enough from them to fully secure my decision. Now all I need is these last 31 days.
Thinking of the aftermath of SPM really helps,seriously. You just want to study and get it over with.
Roadtrip exactly a day after the exam,Prom (it's still on by the way,no cancellations whatsoever so stop trying to bring us down),carefree days,driving licenses,Europe,dust off my guitar and start playing again,taking up a new language,rock climbing,amateur futsal with the clan.
The list really does go on and on,I'd carry on for hours but I'll be leaving in a few. I LOVE SATURDAYS !

Thought So

Well,here's a revelation. You know how you happen to think about basically everything when you're wide awake in the middle of the night ? When you're lying down on your bed,staring at the ceiling and all these thoughts come rushing in your mind ? Whether worrying or not?
Just so you know,up until this very moment, I thought I knew how it feels like.
Then again,I had no idea. Not even the slightest.
True,the beginning of this infatuation doesn't deserve a spot in any fairytale.
It started off as a common case of attraction,I'm sure of it. I swear I never saw it coming and it was uncalled for.
As cliche' and overrated this may seem like, it really just happened. Bear with me.
Up until this very moment, I never thought my heart could beat faster and slower at the same time
Up until this very moment, I never thought going a day without listening to that familiar voice would be enough to drive me crazy
Up until this very moment, I never thought how hearing your voice the absolute first thing in the morning would be enough to make my day
Up until this very moment, I never thought I'd ever smile to myself whenever the thought of you came to mind
Up until this very moment, I never thought just the mere fact of not seeing you makes me want you even more
Up until this very moment,I never thought I'd have to stop myself mid sentence because all I ever talk about now,is you
Up until this very moment , I never thought I would actually say this because it's so overrated but it feels as if I've known you much,much longer
Like when you tell me things you swore you've never told anyone before and it makes sense because if I were you,I wouldn't tell anyone else either,absentmindedly makes me fall harder
And if you ask anyone who knows me well enough,they can vouch for me that I've never,ever
felt this way about anyone before
And as much as I hate to admit this,I don't want this to ever stop at a redlight eventhough the real deal hasn't even left the last traffic light. I just want this to go on like an unwinding road in the middle of nowhere.
Normally,I don't like surprises. You,on the other hand,are a definite exception .

Go Idolise A Mannequin

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Aww,cute sangat pegi tiru orang punya THINGS TO DO. She just changed the SPM to PMR and PROM to PARTY hahahaha adoiii