Anywhere But Here

That's exactly how I feel right this very second
As if I'm in one of those dreams,the ones where you think you're falling from a very high point,but I manage to wake up just in time before I turn into pulp
I almost scared myself crazy,looking in the mirror this morning
I look an awful wreck thanks to the migraine and the fact that I've an ulcer on my gum
Thought I could start off the day well and end it quickly.
Thought of maybe going to sleep and waking up to Monday.
But no,fate has it that I must live Sunday miserably.
Karma has a way of catching up with anybody who crosses its path.Karma,too,has decided to play a game with me this time.
What have I done?Although,I'm pretty sure you've made it clear,its all there,in black and white
What have I become?Is it possible that I've changed?That I'm different?That I've become a materialist?
Is it true?That I've booked myself a one way ticket to destruction?On the wrong path?
Too often,have I repelled angrily but not this time.No.
This time,you'll see that I'm naive and helpless besides being theJennyass I am.
My chest feels tight,I don't know if its because I want to scream or cry
But I refuse to shed tears,it won't help with our situation
And I'll only cover my bed with shreds of tissue paper
Sorry's not enough because people toss around that particular word as if it has no meaning
Come to think of it,it doesn't have the slightest meaning unless it comes from the heart
Which rarely happens these days
Put aside everything else,I'm really,truly,utterly sorry
Like you said,he was right.And you are right.I am different nowadays,I know
I won't deny that I am to blame,it's all my fault and I realize that
I don't want to go through losing a best friend,again neither do I want to start a fight
What a difference a day makes,no?
I was practically bouncing off the walls and over the moon last night
I,now,am sitting quietly,miserable and thinking back on all the things I've done
That has lead us to this,at the brink of yet another fight,suppressed anger from you and stubbornness taking over me
God knows who else feels the same you do right now,probably most of my other friends as well,eh?Go on,admit it.I can handle the truth.
I feel as if I'm drifting away and everything seems distant.I need to be pulled back.
Pinch me,hard
So I'll be able to wake up before I turn into something even worse than I am now
So I'll be able to direct myself the other way because I don't want to end up the way you'd like to think I would
Because,I have a feeling you know me better eventhough you've known me for 5 years
Considering after 16 years being me,I'm still a bit unsure about myself
Now I understand how it feels to be on the verge of a nervous breakdown
On the other hand,no matter how many miles-or pairs of skinny jeans and number of stupid fights-lie between us,you'll always be my bestfriend,W <3