Subtle Is Not Your Middle Name

So many little girls,so terribly polluted. I mean,I can accept it if you do all that that when you're seventeen. But when you've barely reached puberty? Honey,this ain't a past I'd like to tell my children later.

A Home Away From Home

I don't care where I am or how I end up living like,I know that I want to have a library close with me. If by any chance,that wouldn't be possible,just to have a book safely tucked away in my bag is enough to make me feel at ease. You see,like everybody else,books offer me this safety blanket,the reassurance that no matter how cross-wired my life is at that exact moment,I can at least escape the reality. The heaviness and dread of a situation will always be easily lifted once I read. You could say I owe this to my parents,they started with the typical books with pictures. My particular favourite when I was a toddler was those big Disney books where you had to spot the items they asked you to ! Pre-teen days were spent reading every book from the Olsen and Enid Blyton franchise. I mean,c'mon. Who never read Enid Blyton?! As I grew older,I skipped the stage of Gossip Girls and all that,which comes to a surprise,even to my closest friends. I mostly stuck to Kinsella and Ahern and moved on towards the heavier plots until now. I leaned more to English books rather than Malay novels mainly because,well,I just don't fancy the plotlines. I only started reading Meniti Kaca and the rest because it was part of the education syndicate. I'm struck with awe,with the wistful thinking and with the way I absorb myself into the characters. I love words. Words excite me in ways I can't begin to explain. Never would I dub myself a flawless writer because I am not.Being an avid reader and having this much of a passion,as absurd as that sounds,it feels like having a boyfriend. I get caught up with what it tells me,it makes me smile to myself,and whenever I'm not with it,all I can think about is how badly I want to go home,jump on my bed,and let it keep me up all night,you know? A book doesn't even have to be open to feel that. The spines don't even have to be cracked. I'm the type of person who is most content with her fingers wrapped around a book and being tucked under covers. Why keep books if you don't pay attention to some of them? The answer is as obvious as asking a widow with 27 cats. To keep me company.

Something Much Less Epic Than An Epiphany

In the simplest of terms,I just miss being missed by the person who made me feel euphoric after being acknowledged. I wish you were here but you're there and there doesn't know how lucky it is. I don't think about you but you're always there,in the back of my mind. The afterthought. I never had the intention ; To suffocate myself with this kind of realisation. I don't want to be known as the girl who just cannot get over the last guy who meant a thing to her because I am not. I refuse to feel sorry for myself because I am only sorry he never took the time to stand back and appreciate this affection. The heart wants what the heart wants and when your heart speaks,remember to take good notes. To be honest,I loved that douche less and less until the feeling now is just platonic. The sparks were long gone,the butterflies don't flutter at the mention of his name or at the sight of his face. That's reserved for somebody else now. But,still. I wonder,I'm dying to ask. Did I ever leave an impact on your life? Even if just the tiniest?

Two Spoons of Wishful Thinking

Did you know there's a subtle difference between wistful thinking and wishful thinking? (and no,it isn't the T or H in the spelling)

Lips Are Best Kept Sealed,Secrets Are Best Kept Shared (Because We All Know That's What'll Happen Eventually)

You are taught and raised to make sure the skeletons in your closet stay put. It's the unspoken rule. And then comes the time when the bones start rattling against the door and out they come tumbling. Need not worry though,because most of the time,these are the truths that you yourself choose to speak of. The harmless bits and pieces that wouldn't affect anybody around you in ways that would wreak havoc nor would it do any harm to you mentally and emotionally. The solid subject to prove this statement is yours truly. This may come out as a vain sentence but I want people to know me,to grasp the fact that I am not what they think I am,to see why is it so my friends are my friends. Then again,I don't want to pull a Big Brother and reveal all my dirty little secrets (not that I have any) or be completely at ease with sharing absolutely every detail of my life or let you into my innermost thoughts. That is utterly ridiculous. Might as well start penning my biography and have it published,right? Like I said,it's the harmless facts. The ones that I want to amuse people with and to let them know me without having to keep a notepad on my inside and outs. Still,the hidden traits,the funny habits that me myself find it hard to notice is what my closest friends are for. That privilege is and always will be for that bond we've formed and strengthen over the years. C'mon,don't deny me this micromillinanopicogigatera revelation. Every human being is guilty of sharing their thoughts and their secrets with random people. Which we all know,does no justice whatsoever to its concept but still,it's a fact of life. SO ! Before I scurry along the lines of the basic point,maybe I'll waste my time on a hundred (harmless) truths about myself. Before I become famous and have my very own biography on bookstands,nonetheless ehehe. Until then,we'll have to make do with this random post that was to supposedly make me doze off. Failed but at least,that's one random thought of the day down,a gazillion more to go. Two more days in Europe and I shall rid myself of this temporary insanity of having zero To-Dos,xx.

Going,Going,Gone (For The Mo')

Hey Hi Hello ! So,I'm leaving for Rome and whatnot on Monday night. Surreal. I haven't been overseas for so long. I hate being a tourist,it's so obvious pulak tu. Hahaha. Can't believe I'm not going to see Ilya before I leave on Monday. She'll be in Singapore for Paramore (BEECH). Was supposed to go but I thought it was on Monday night,not Sunday !@#$%^&* . Anyways,two weeks without my bestfriends to keep me sane is going to be tough but I'll survive. I am a tough cookie *pose* This shall be a short post. I don't want to fall in love there. I've already got my eyes on somebody here. Take care,whoever reads my blog. If there are any. X.