Tidal Waves

Hi. Do you know how it feels like to wait for something you know will never come but you still hold on to that thin shred of hope eventhough the voice in your head tells you,don't ?

I've perfected that by now,really. It's like playing a game of tug of war with yourself. You wait but when you realize it's completely bogus if it really does come,you stop waiting. It goes on again,day after day ever since then. In case you were wondering,yes it sucks. When realization hits you like a tidal wave and you're caught under water. You struggle to hold on to what's in reach,to the familiar exterior of a tree bark or a post,you hang on to that for your life but the current makes it tougher,the current wants to break your grip. You so desperately cling on to that until you know it's pointless,it's beyond your control. That's when you'll start to let go,bit by bit and pray to God to please,please bring yourself ashore. To that moment where you can finally breathe and say Hey,I'm Going To Be Alright. That Was One Hell Of A Ride But I Got Through It and I'm Going To Walk Away With Only Bruised Memories. I'm the one clinging on to that familiarity and you're the current. Sooner or later,but most definitely,I will learn to let go and wait at the next stop for somebody else to bring me on another ride,one that's worth waiting for. Though,there is a part of me that wants everything to be normal again,for me to know I have a friend,not some boy I used to like and who meant something to me,who I can call up and say OMG Guess What Happened To Me Today?! and to be absolutely sure that everything's better the way it is. Until then.