Thursday, April 8, 2010

Fragile,Don't Crush.

It has been said that something as fragile as the flutter of a butterfly's wing can ultimately cause a typhoon half way around the world. In this case,the words that came tumbling out of my mouth must have stabbed you hard, must have seemed unsympathetic. Enough to make me know I've unleashed this absurd feeling in the corner of your heart. I'm well aware that I've scarred people along the road and I'm definitely not the kind of person who settles for someone who is comfortable with being pushed around. I don't know how to explain myself,I don't how to explain this lump that forms in my throat everytime I think about it. I'm sorry I hurt you and I mean this in the most honest and sincere way ever but have you any idea how I felt after you didn't acknowledge my apology,at all? Not in the slightest bit. I don't expect you to accept my apology,considering what I did,but just the thought of it wouldn't kill you. Something as simple as a Hi or a nod of the head. Something to tell me that you'll wave the white flag,that we'll surrender and leave this behind. I'm not going to ask you to let bygones be bygones because in truth,nobody really does. It's all second nature,to forgive yet we'll forever find it impossible to forget. I'm guilt-ridden,A. At the same time,I don't want to do this. The last thing I'd want is to burden you with this because I feel as if I'm being selfish but thinking about this is getting me flustered and frazzled. You're so mad at me,just the thought of it makes me cringe and feel ten feet smaller. Helpless and at a loss for words. Your absence is eating me alive. I can't believe I was capable of hurting someone like this,so much so,we're barely considered friends anymore. I'll give you time. All the time in the world and when you check your watch and decide it's time,do me a favour. Close your eyes,clear your heart,let it go.

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