Tuesday, December 15, 2009


Hey Hi Hello !

First blog post after two months,how wicked is my ability to resist blogging temptations? Wicked enough ! Has everyone missed me? I know there are a few faithful followers of mine,don't I have a fanbase?! Maybe not but it isn't wrong for a girl to dream,si? I may have SPM and the loss of my mojo to blame for my hiatus. It was as if the wheels on my brain were turning,yearning to tell the whole world about my not-so interesting life,ho-hum routines as far as I know but then once I loggin Blogger,this white space just stared at me and vice versa until I just gave up. Quite close to deleting my blog but I don't have the heart to do so,I love reading my previous posts,as melodramatic and cliche' and just plain boring,if you must,as they were. Since I don't keep a diary,why the hell not yeah? I wish I did though but I stopped after the umpteenth time of buying a diary just because it had a pretty cover. Besides,I only wrote on the first page and left it to collect dust in a corner.
I'm hoping December will be good to me. So far,so good. I've been alone on most days,spending an insane amount of time in my pajamas and only moving a muscle if the task is worth getting up for. You could say SPM's aftermath is sorta like solitary confinement for me. Honestly,I'm not complaining (eventhough I do so on Twitter like,everytime?). I do massive thinking when I'm alone and if you were wondering what my thoughts were about,well then,keep on wondering. Can I talk about November? Hold up,it's my blog so I can and I shall ! Pardon me if I sound melodramatic but November was bittersweet,beyond words. A quarter of my life changed in a millisecond in more ways than one. Everything seemed perfect and although that's a pretty tough word to mess around with,I swear it's true. Then again,good things must always come to an end ; I just wished it didn't have to end so abruptly for me. I turned seventeen a month ago and it was by far the best birthday I've had so far. I am in love with celebratory text messages and phone calls ! I finished my SPM,finally ! I'm still working on my license though hahahaha (y)

Brace yourselves for this but the voice in my head constantly reminds me that I loved most unexpectedly at one point of time in the past few months. Excuse me but where's the justice in the law of attraction?! How can you push aside this adrenalin rush courtesy of your feelings for someone? How can you pretend as if nothing ever happened? As if all the cryptic messages,the subtle hints,the inside jokes,meant absolutely nothing? And it only makes it worse when I wonder if I loved in vain. This will bug me to no end,just so you know. To put in the simplest of terms,I miss the butterflies I used to get at the mere mention of your name. Then again,I still do,I just don't talk about it like the way I used to. You still occupy my thoughts. As cliche' and overrated as this may seem like,you couldn't even find a mere trace of frowns during that period of time. Nada,zip,zero. Pretty much content with my life then,not so much now but hey,I'll learn to handle it. Easy come,easy go. I don't have any right to stop you from doing whatever it is you want to,si? Although I'm feeling a gazillion times better than I did before,there'll always be this tiny space reserved just for you. I pinky promised.
Not exactly my idea of a post-hiatus entry but I just had to get this weight off my shoulders. I swear it'll be less,deep,the next time around. It's two in the morning and I think I shall go spend time in my comfort zone ; Under the bedspread,surrounded by pillows and a torchlight. Shall get lost in Cecelia Ahern's imagination and zest for love and life. Ciao,bella.

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